Amazing Happenings

Everyday, something amazing always happens. Like today, I was reading my book while working and I received an email from VP. I was worried a little bit last night and then I threw it up to the Universe (God for me) and I found an email right away after lunch with detailed answers! I thought I annoyed him, but it was because people are just busy. I’m really excited to work there. I read the email and found that he is excited to see my existing company and my research skills. I do research a lot, and I mean everywhere by the use of google. When it comes to phone numbers, there’s a rather tipsy topsy turvey way of contacting people. I gotta’ tell you, today was a good day. I don’t mean to do a dear diary on you but that’s what I’m thinking right now because I’m waiting on my food. I don’t know if I’ll have the energy later on to write as it gets closer to bed time. I’m really excited about the time, too because I imagined it right close to when they were going to clock in and he VP said around 8:30am – 9:00am which they usually start coming in. You can also have an hour lunch break (unpaid) but you can take 30 min instead if you’re wanting to leave early. I don’t mind. As soon as I read the time to clock-in, I was like, YES!! That’s another amazing thing! Thank you for the email and thank you for the time clock-in! Company is amazing! It really boosted my esteem and happiness level up! There were more things on there, something about clean clothes and being very casual to work which is great. It’s definitely a techie environment and I’m loving it. There are 15 apps that I’m studying right now for this company and so far I’m on the 4th and will do the rest tomorrow. It’s a little technical and it’s most probably because I’m tired. It’s pretty self-explanatory. I guess I don’t really have much to say right now. I’m just going to eat dinner, drink my juice drink, and wait for the boyfriend to visit me. Watch a little bit of tv, get ready for bed and then that’s it.. I have work tomorrow but at least I don’t have to come in till 10:00 am! Back to Company, I like the timing because if it means going home a little later, I’m totally fine with that because that’s nearer to the time my boyfriend comes in too. I won’t have to wait longer and or be bored. Either way, there’s a lot of money coming. It’s just coming naturally and MORE is coming in so when I have that stick of cig, I just place it on the very flat surface and send my thank yous.

 

So, I have this saying. STI- stick to it. I didn’t in my last company. It wasn’t a healthy environment anyway. I do love the people there though. Then, I have go with the flow and as I go along with studying the book, I’m learning to also use… ask, believe and receive. BELIEVE. I’m at the part where it tells you to FEEL. You can’t just think it, you gotta’ feel it and thoughts become things. So, watch out! I’m the next billionaire. No doubt. I have other sayings but I’m going to just say STI and go with the flow right now as well as the 3step thoughts. I did a lot of reading that’s for sure and I’m at the relationship part right now. OH THERE YOU GO. I am learning gratitude. The more you thank, the more it snowballs… so it’s sti, go with the flow, and always be thankful. Right now I’m working on my morning routine. I have a really hard time waking up in the morning and getting out of bed. With what I am learning, I will apply them but slowly. Most of them, I’ve done and now that I have a clock-in time of 8:30am – 9:00am, I’m going to have to practice waking up and sleeping early as well. I sleep 9 hours or 8 hours to make sure I’m healthy. It’s the perfect rest hour. Any less or more, than you’re groggy. Plus, I have wonderful mood. I’m also changing the way I write where it’s positive although instead of it being positive, not only is it positive but it has the tone of happiness.

 

So when I wake up in the morning, I start with gratitude. When there’s something I just can’t put my finger on, “what now?”, I say STI and GO WITH THE FLOW. Or, I do the 3step. That’s why I’m only studying my book now, and going slow, taking hella’ notes and then simplify them and apply them to my big life and also my life daily. That’s it. STI. GO WITH THE FLOW. GRATITUDE. 3STEP. There’s also prayer and visualizing at night. It seems a lot right now but I intend to have this as second nature. Most of these things I have done when I was sixteen but wasn’t aware that this was defined. Hence, the name sixteenth-theory. It was the happiest of times. There’s also health etc but this is what I have for now and I use the 3step a lot. It’s great. And since the sleep helps my mood greatly, I will continue to do so and it’ll be natural to FEEL the BE. So that’s what I’ve been learning about at work while substituting for the administrative assistant. Tomorrow I’m back at the site working with clients. I’ll have time to read but I’ll have to bring my own laptop blah blah blah then on Saturday I intend to get some books printed and I am going to print my one billion check! Yup! That’s right. That’s right.

 

Now that I have a full time job, I’m looking for a part-time job. I’m going to write a divided list both big and small goals or to-do so I don’t get bored. I will also be going back to school but one thing at a time now. Everything is going to happen. I have to work on my C, then some other paperwork and I’m working my courage up for that because I have strong emotions, a big heart and a lot of love… I’ll feel a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders. I want to make a vision mission board but I want to be secretive about that. It’s only between me and the universe (God for me). So, i’ll be creating it on photoshop, like a collage and then just put it on my phone so it’s just there every time I want to visualize. The book suggested it on print, but this way only I can see it. Same with my check, I’ll take a photo of it but it’s most definitely going under my pillow. I’ll feel it and see it everyday as a reminder that I’m receiving a billion dollars. I will be literally sleeping on a billion dollars. That’s not the only success. It’s not just that money. It begins from within and to me, I’m not only visualizing and receiving money, wealth… it’s about prosperity and it means BEING WELL ROUNDED. I nearly gave up on my dreams. I got a jolt of being jump-started by a spark of hope, love and faith- most importantly, at the bottom of it all, I know and believe this is the work of God. So, money is coming easily as we speak but I’m also about being well rounded in and out. I’ll write some more later.. it’s starting to come together but slowly so I’ll just read, take notes, summarize, 2nd nature it, write my own terminologies. Goal: to be well-rounded in and out. 1 in. 2 out. Appearance. Tangible. Prosperity.

 

Signed,

 

16th theory, no. 7

16th Theory, No. 7

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No. 7

There’s a lot of work to be done. Journaling is supposed to be therapeutic but I start off thinking off with high standards or think perfectionism that just beginning a journal again is just daunting. I’ve been journaling since I was 16. That was the best year of my life. I always promised and told myself that no matter what, I would do my best so that when I’m older, when I look back into my life, I would be proud of the achievements that I have made in high school. I wasn’t the smartest, but I was a damn good hard worker and now, at 32, I can nod my head and say how proud I was and am with the achievements I have made. Now, what happened? The next age that was the best for me was the year I got married. Though I missed my march on stage for my graduation, I was the happiest girl on earth because not only did I achieve a Bachelor’s degree, I was engaged and it was my Birthday. Everything rolled in like they fell into place as well. Now, I’m at a place where I don’t know where to begin. I have created some achievements as well but these are adult things that you don’t put on a resume and say, attained a car, attained a driver’s license, etc., but I think it’s worth writing them down here. I do hope I keep this up and make this routinely. I’m trying to recollect all the good things and all the tools that I used to be happy and successful. I know reading and writing are a couple of things that have saved my life and I’m trying it out again. There’s a lot of catching up to do and I’m going to have to save this online rather than on my computer. I love this laptop. It’s one of the best things that my husband has ever given me, apart from a very beautiful and expensive engagement ring. I still think about it from time to time how I love the ring, I was comfortable there, I was happy with him but I don’t know if my mania took over and at the same time I wasn’t happy so I took flee. Our sex life wasn’t doing well either and so that made me go astray. So I guess there’s really a lot to write about since this is really going to be a lifestyle that I’m going to incorporate writing again. I just hesitate a lot because what about the gaps in between? What is there really to write? There’s a lot, come to think of it because my dreams are slowly coming true and I have bigger dreams that I want to accomplish. It nearly died down until one sad night, one of my darkest nights, I decided to call a girlfriend and tell her of my situation as I was having doubts and problems with my boyfriend. We drifted in a different direction and though she didn’t say the cliché “think positive” she introduced me to reading books and it just so happens that the book that I am now studying, taking notes- though it is such an easy read—and it happens to be things that I used to do, or successful routines and actions that I did when I was 16 except at that time, I didn’t know there was a term for it. Back then, I would just picture things and think what are the things that bother me, let it go and move on or things that I wanted to happen. All I knew was that my mom always told me that when I want something bad enough, I put my mind to it and I get it. With these two in mind, the book mentions visualizing techniques and goes on to describe it except when I was reading it, I didn’t have to take it down. It just clicked that that was what I used to do. It had stopped when I hit college but that’s a story I’ll share later on. So, though it did describe it, it was clear to me that it was something I do and naturally do and very well at that. I naturally visualize everything. I’m naturally creative. It makes me happy and excites my life. Now that I’m stabilizing, I get bored easily but don’t want to waste time doing things that put you on autopilot. I watch movies, and tv shows but at the same time, I want to do something with my life. What’s next on my list. There are some that may “seem” unattainable but these will teach me patience and if I can do that, then I can do more. There’s a lot to observe since the change in medication. There’s a lot of stories under my belt. I just don’t know if I’m going to write a book or not. All I know is, I’m back to writing my thoughts on paper. I’m back to journaling like I did in high school, the best year of my life sixteen. I can’t remember everything but I’m going to create a life, routine and then figure out healthy ways, sleeping patterns, mood observations, bank account savings, etc. there’s going to be a lot to think about, visualize upon, and talk about. There’s a lot. Ever since I’ve been reading, it’s starting to come out on paper when just a few months ago, I was struggling, crying listening to Dash Berlin and praying so hard. I still pray. I believe in prayer. I’m Christian. Sometimes I think about the church, but then I think about how his family judges me and all the girls in that family gossip. I just can’t that kind of a toxic environment. I still do love my husband very much but at the same time I’m very happy that he has someone in his life as companionship. I hope I don’t write like: Dear Diary, today I did this and did this. The End.

No. It can’t be like that. I don’t know if I’m going to write everyday or skip a night. I really don’t know depending on the energy level as well. I am overwhelmed by all the resources and treasures that I have found in the past few weeks. So, I don’t really know where to begin but all I know is that I have to start with my health. I’m thinking of how to eat healthier, what else to do with my body to stay in shape, etc., but at the same time, I am in need of money to support myself. Thankfully, I am now employed. I accepted a job offer for an advertising company that is moving their headquarters to down town which is near to my home here. I’m really excited and I just hope that I don’t over-do it. I might have gone a little over board with my email with questions for my director which is also the vice president of the company, but I hope he takes it in a positive manner. He hasn’t responded back yet and tomorrow is Wednesday. It doesn’t matter. I’m now going to be working for them, but that tinge of thought is floating around my head. You want to make a good impression and I hope I did and didn’t ruin it on the email. I know that I’ll be researching properly to  make sure that my 90 days are memorable. By the time that day comes, they’re going to have promoted me already because that’s how creative and passionate I am. I am really grateful that they chose me out of all the people that applied and were interested in this job- most especially since it was advertized on craigslist. As you can see, I’m rambling on about it. So… honestly I don’t know where to start. Let me tell you a story about why I believe so much in faith, patience and visualization- in random order. Because everything started falling into place… Of course you pray, you meditate/visualize. This book helped me so much that I started researching about the other writers and come to find out that they are philosophers, visionaries, teachers, authors and even a master thinker. That’s what I want to be. I want to be a visionary or a masterthinker. That should be my portfolio name. So I’m just a little bit worried about vp not getting back to me. I just hope that I didn’t over-whelm him. He sounded really cool though so I mirrored back his personality. I will get over it eventually. *inhales* So I have all this debt, but not really and I think about my boyfriend and I can’t help but compete. Susan says it’s in my nature to compete because she saw it in me when I used to work from my former company. I don’t know where I get this kind of attitude but I embrace it because it’ll make me a better person when using this to a positive kind of motivation. I just have to becareful what I say around my boy because he tends to “copy” me like what a best girlfriend would do in high school and that’s one of the reasons why I never liked having a girlfriend back then because when I pointed something out and wanted to buy it, they’d go out and buy even before I got my hands on it. He’s doing the same thing here that’s why in my past post I told you that I was jealous of all the material things that he bought but it doesn’t bother me anymore. We found the root of it although I am still jeaolous of his car which doesn’t make sense of me to get jealous of his car when I don’t need one like that being that my apartments do not provide garages. New cars will get dinged up. It’s only a matter of time. But, I will still get a new car. I will. I’ll ask. I’ll believe. And, I will receive. That’s just one of the things that I’ve been learning that I can add to my sixteen-theory. I think that’s what I’ll call it because I’ll incorporate what I had naturally done to become happy and successful in life back then and then add on what I am learning today. Oh, the books I want to read. I want to read them and devour them right now but I’m disciplining myself to finish this book first. I’m done reading it per se as the documentary was on Netflix. So now I’m reading it, writing notes, going back to the summary and create a list of what I will be doing. I have to incorporate it in my life slowly. So today, it’s journalizing. There’s also being thankful for everything because whatever you thank for it, more good things will roll into your life. Then, there’s also visualizing but by the end of the day I’m already tired so I’ve been postponing although I am thankful for everything. Speaking of exhaustion… it’s already near ten at night. I now fall asleep with my laptop Netflix on. If I had a tv in my room—which I don’t since I moved it to the living room—then I would let that run but I don’t have cable. I just have internet. I’m saving up as you can see and only getting by just by the line of a thread. But that will all change soon enough. There are great things that are happening as I type and there are even greater, more miraculous things that are in my future. There’s just an overload in my head yet when I’m here, in the present, I don’t know what to do in the afternoon after I get off work. There’s a few hours in between work and seeing my boyfriend and I want it to be productive but there are other things that need to be done. I am thinking of writing a list of things like I already have on the fridge. Get a job, stick to it. Get a part-time job. Stick to it. Go back to school. Something like that but I need to do the bigger things like paperwork that adult people do. It’s not going to take money for now, but definitely time to be invested and of course, the paperwork. There are some things that I have to do this year that are huge for me and then there’s this ONE HUGE thing that I want to do. It’s a dream of mine that may need investing of course. I don’t know how, but it will happen because I asked the Universe (God), I threw it out there like a wish for the genie, I believe in it and I will receive it. For now, I have to keep working on the milestones as well so there’s a lot going on. For now, I’m glad that I’m working part-time which is getting me to pay all my bills. I don’t really have debt. The only debt I really have is the car and my apartment. The rest are necessities which are called: bills. But my aim is greater than this. It’s above and beyond so much that even buying two cars or more or having more than my boyfriend would be minute. It wouldn’t matter anymore. I’m going to make it happen. To take care of my mom, for example etc. There’s just a lot. And, it’s only Tuesday… I have work tomorrow. I appreciate work more now that I am not in data entry. That was really hard. Their program sucked. Their trainer sucked. The environment sucked but I think there was a greater purpose being taught there and it is so that I could be grateful for the things that God has given me. I remember it so clearly on Tuesday, lunch, drizzling and I was hanging out in my car when I checked my phone and there was an email saying that I got the job offer. I tossed my phone aside to the passenger’s seat and cried and kept thanking God over and over and over again because I am so grateful. That was the day, this is the month that I have been waiting for and even my boyfriend said that he had a feeling that I was going to get a job soon. I felt the same way. I don’t know if he has that natural ability to think, if it’s because he’s high… I don’ t know but I have that competitive streak in me to be successful. I don’t know how else to put it. I’m gla he said that but there’s also another situation but you already know and I won’t write about it right now. I think I’ll wrap it up and introduce you to what’s been going on in my life.

 

Right now, currently, I miss my husband. The situation behind that is that we are separatd and we both are in a committed relationship now. He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend. There were just so many things and I was unhappy, yet I miss him, too and I don’t know what the future holds for him and me and then there’s my boyfriend too. So I just do my best to work on my goals, my dreams and passions while at the same time, letting God do his work and letting things that are out of my control unfold. I do miss him though and I understand his church. I understand clearly and I’m okay with that, but a marriage can’t last long when you’re living under someone’s parents’ roof past the age of 30 whether it be in my mom’s house or his parents’ house. That’s #1 reason why I left. Our sex life was null. And, I was unhappy. I didn’t mind the church thing, only when I was told to go or they visit and remind me to go was when I made sure I didn’t go. It’s a thing from my past since my mom would tell me to do things, and I was goin to do them and being told what to do was harsh for me since I was told to do things all the time. There’s going to be a lot to unfold in this journal. My ptsd, ocd, writing about my past to clear all this out. I can do all things despite the trauma, but imagine what more when clearing it out? I will soar… above and beyond. I will. I’m not just saying that. It’s when I put my mind to it. So, there you go. I’ll have to put it somewhere so that I don’t have to keep repeating myself. It is unorthodox. Don’t judge. This is just a journal. I don’ t know why I’m posting it online apart from saving it in the cloud. I doubt anybody is reading this and it’s just nice to think someone is listening out there. These are one of the things that are important. Not just for the soul, the spirit… but for my brain. It releases anything and lets me think clearly. I’ll tell you more about this book and the story I have and that’s why I believe so much in positive thinking and faith. Back then, I just didn’t know that there was a term for it. I just pictured things and chose… CHOSE, DECIDED to choose do you want to be happy? Or no? You have that choice. That’s what I did when in high school. I think I will dedicate a journal entry on those theories and keep them somewhere so I can incorporate them clearly into my visions as a master thinker. You’re reading my journal but soon in the future, you are going to be reading a book by the next visionary and master thinker. Me. number 7. Beingkel.

 

It’s time to wind down. I’m getting excited knowing that I can write these things. So tomorrow, after work, after I do errands, phone calls, etc., I will sit down and write in my journal. Read, too. I want to read right now but I’ll just get excited when it’s time to wind down. Oh, I just hope that VP wasn’t annoyed. They are just busy. It is towards the end of the month now and I will be starting very soon. I’m excited. I should read their website tomorrow while there’s down time at work. Hm…

 

Here on out,

 

Visionary and masterthinker,

 

BeingKel. No. 7

(Sixteenth-theory)

STICK TO IT

So I’ve never really believed in New Year’s resolutions. It’s only 12 months. There’s short term goals and long term girls and if you’re going to make a resolution, depending on your goal, the new year’s resolution won’t last long. I don’t usually do them. I usually think and self-reflect during my Birthday and that is coming up. I’m going to be 33 and I’m pretty excited about it. There’s a lot of things that I need to work on and I’ve realized why they haven’t been effective. It’s because I haven’t stayed long enough in once place to actually be successful and I’ve realized that I’ve had fear of commitment and that’s a term used loosely. One time, about 10 years ago, I did some modeling. I nearly quit, but I had this attitude that I had to finish this because I’m not a quitter and recently, these past few years, I’ve been quitting things and part of it is because of my situation and part of it is because I haven’t been healthy and when I mean  healthy, I mean my brain. Like how can I ease my mind when my brain isn’t healthy? It starts with you but instead of choosing and then forgetting to persevere until success, we tend to forget and give up. If my brain is healthy, my mind will be that much stronger to attain all my dreams to come true. I’ve only discovered this after reading and understanding my feelings. The negative feelings I’ve been feeling when I’m triggered are painful and hard to deal with and I’m now learning the basics by asking myself if it’s my mood, my emotions, or hormones. Feelings are normal but the others come from the brain so if you’re healthy where you get sleep, food and whatever else we need to get healthy, it’s so much easier to conquer and be free. I don’t know to begin, to be honest with you because there is SO MUCH TO COVER. I’ve mastered the outside appearance when I put the effort since I was a model but inside is what needs working or rather, improving. And when I mean food for your health, you have to think of it differently. Instead of thinking it’s just a diet, think of it as something that you need for yourself and your brain to function and it’ll be easier to make decisions and it’ll refrain regrets. When I master this now, things will come easier. So I’m started right now and I’m excited about it because these books I’m purchasing are interesting so I’m not going to just drop them in the corner to collect dust. Whatever I’m going through right now is going to make me stronger. Again, I don’t know where to begin so I’m reading and taking notes. I picture them and apply them and since I know I may forget all these information, I gotta’ reread and retain it until it’s second nature. It’ll take some time. I’ll start now so later, I won’t have to start later. Right now, I’m reading a book and taking notes and then I’ll watch the movie again and take some notes. I add my own personal notes next to the quotes and picture how I can figure out my thoughts. I haven’t written my thoughts in so long… so this was pretty hard. I know that I want to be happy and when I change my thoughts, my presence of mind, my awareness is so much clearer. People who are addicted to working out think and obsess about what to put in their bodies for physical appearance and I too want to start working out again and work on my physical appearance but this time, it starts with the inside. So I just have to watch what I eat instead for my body (which it’ll still profit from it) but this time it’s for the  health of my brain. When I write it down this time instead of thinking of it as “mental health”, it’s easier for me to approach it. It’s almost like I’ve personalized the information that I’m absorbing and processing.

 

I gotta’ read this book first and take notes. Then there are more things I want to get under my belt and juggle but I gotta’ start with the foundation. That’s my health. In my personal life, I have to take one project one at a time and have a LOT OF PATIENCE. With what I’m going through, this is the first time I’ve truly learned what patience means. It’s waiting to wait to wait on waiting. And once you’ve waited to wait on waiting, you’ve only scratched the surface and learn that there’s another milestone of waiting. I want to master so many things but I’m just going to read, listen, watch, observe, and just learn.

STI means STICK TO IT.